6/19/09

Is it just me that this letter is filled with condescension? Is it just me that "tking the high road" sounds an awful lot like acting like the victim against the attacker? Is this always the case? i would really appreciate your feedback on this please... any which way the truth comes.

Dear Alicia

Please know that I have always loved you and will always love you, just as I love all my children and grandchildren. There is nothing you can do that will change that. To the best of my ability and given my life circumstances, I have been the best grandmother I know how to be, and for that reason it is my opinion that I deserve to be treated with respect. If you believe I have done or said something causing you to be upset or angry, please know that was never my intention. Nevertheless, I do apologize if you are upset by anything I did or said.

I agree that perhaps we should not communicate for awhile. When we can communicate with mutual respect, that will be much more fruitful. At that time, if it comes, I look forward to having a caring, loving, and mutually beneficial relationship with you. In the meantime, I wish for you only that you be the happiest you can be.

With love,

Miya

a little break

How are you supposed to get anything organized when the world keeps on turning and time keeps on shifting and the end never appears

I am beginning to think that I will never get to rest again.

Getting Out Of Town

I want to get out of town for the weekend or some such and stay someplace fun and free. I have free plane tickets and just need some place cheap or free so if you know of a place then let me know.

Useless Part Two

I feel as though those around me have accomplished so much more than I have. I don't know how to do it all. Others my age have written entire books of poetry, while I cannot finish a single story. They have become actors and models and singers and gotten accepted into medical programs, even finished their bachelor degrees (Yes, I am even behind in that respect.)

I don't know how they do everything. I work my but off every day of the week and I feel as though nothing is ever accomplished. I can never focus on one thing or even just five things to accomplish and maybe that is my real problem.

I work 15 hours a week, am taking 18 units and am now working on my third production of the semester, and this was supposed to be my semester off, I can only imagine what it's going to come to next year when I am assigned to actually stage manage a department production back to back with my summer job and there is only a couple weeks off in between summer school and SummerFest. There is only one week in between spring semester and summer semester for that matter.

How will I make it through.

How will I ever find the time to write. The previous post is the first time I have contributed to "Trapped" in almost a month. How will I dedicate myself to my passion. Why am I still majoring in Stage Management when it's no longer my passion?

Obsession With A Dream

Let me preface this with the knowledge that left without a designated itinerary of things to do throughout the day, I can spend hours upon hours creating fantasies, scenarios and endless stories in my head using the people and places I know and people and places I have yet to discover.

What causes you to be attracted to someone? Frequently what I've dreamed or thought about someone has made me look twice at people who have already shown themselves to be someone I would rather not associate myself with. The perceptions of society as a whole place upon people a way of categorizing them which can attract or detract from their attractiveness. How often have you liked someone only to hear that your friend doesn't think much of them and suddenly the luster is gone from your eyes? How often have you thought someone unimaginative and arrogant only to find them attractive through someone else's eyes? How often have you fallen in love with an actor and the character they play, when seeing these actors through the eyes of the writer or other characters on stage?

Maybe it's not very "P.C." to admit I have been influence by this but what are we if not society's creatures. How are we to function without the influences of those around us to guide us in what is wrong and right?

It is the blind following which we have to to be aware of and steer away from. It is the lack of questioning knowledge in our personalities as adults which we need to be wary of. It this the reason then that children are considered the smartest of us all? For those of you in Animal Farm: The Young Animal?

And on that note: Go See Animal Farm - No Questions! Just do it.

:)

<3

Something Amiss

"I feel ill at ease with that little word 'we.'
No man is at one with another, you see.
Behind all agreement lies something amiss.
All seeming accord cloaks a lurking abyss."
- Albert Einstein

I always wonder when I'm speaking to someone, "Are they saying what I'm hearing, or something completely different." It's like the question of color. No one knows if the color I perceive as red looks like what I think blue is in your eyes. We could all have the same favorite color and not know it. The abyss is the knowledge lost between your mind and mine.